Dynamic Couples work
Every relationship has its own story, its own patterns, and its own challenges.
Sometimes relationships need ongoing therapy to change the dance between partners.
Sometimes it's best to start with a Relationship Reset--a couple of days of focused work to get unstuck before moving into regular couples therapy sessions.
And sometimes couples need a structured process like Discernment Counseling to make a difficult decision about whether both partners even want to work on the marriage.
Couples who aren’t in crisis may want to learn practical skills and become more intentional about their already stable relationship. For them, I offer a non-therapy option: an educational workshop based on the Gottman Method.
Below, you’ll find more information about each of these options.
couples therapy
Dynamic Couples Therapy with Kathy begins with either weekly 90-minute sessions or a 2-day "intensive" (not as scary as it might sound, I promise). Each path leads to a period of 60-minute maintenance sessions scheduled at the frequency that fits your relationship needs: weekly, biweekly, monthly or as-needed.
My approach is firmly rooted in my training in Relational Life Therapy (RLT) by Terry Real and in Gottman Method Couples Therapy by John & Julie Gottman. And I've designed my practice around the way that I beleive meaningful couples therapy works best: longer sessions that allow you to move beyond describing problems so you can see the cycle, heal the hurt, and change the dance.
See the Cycle
Most couples don't come to therapy because they're having one disagreement. They come because they're having the same disagreement over and over, just with different details.
In the first phase of therapy, we slow things down enough to understand what is really happening beneath the conflict. Rather than deciding who is right or wrong, we'll identify the patterns that keep pulling you into the same painful interactions. You'll begin to recognize how each partner's reactions make sense in light of their own history, vulnerabilities, and protective strategies. As the cycle becomes clearer, blame gives way to understanding.
Heal the Hurt
Once you can see the cycle, we begin exploring what fuels it.
Many of our strongest reactions in adult relationships are rooted in older experiences—moments when we felt rejected, misunderstood, criticized, controlled, or alone. Together, we'll identify the deeper hurts and emotional sensitivities that get activated between you and help each of you respond to them with greater awareness and compassion. Healing these emotional wounds creates more flexibility, less defensiveness, and a stronger foundation for lasting change.
Change the Dance
Insight alone isn't enough. Lasting change happens when couples begin relating to each other differently in everyday life.
In the final phase of therapy, you'll practice new ways of communicating, responding, and repairing conflict that interrupt the old cycle before it takes over. As trust grows, you'll become better able to stay connected during difficult conversations, navigate differences without escalating, and create a relationship that feels safer, calmer, and more satisfying.
The goal isn't to eliminate conflict—every couple has conflict. The goal is to help you stop repeating the same painful dance and build a new one together.
Discernment Counseling
If you or your partner are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a tough spot. And Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slowdown, take a breath, and look at your options for your relationship.
Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular couples therapy would help--and the other is "leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding.
As a Certified Discernment Counselor, I will help you decide whether to try to restore your relationship to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.
The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
Discernment Counseling is not couples therapy. The goal is not to solve your relational problems but to see IF they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.
You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in different places.
I will respect your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.
I will emphasize the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
Number of Sessions: A maximum of 5 counseling sessions. The first session is 2 hours and the subsequent sessions are 1.5 hours.
Discernment Counseling is not suited for these situations:
*When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
*When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
*When there is danger of domestic violence
7 Principles workshop
